I’m too weak to write a blog post that actually makes sense… though most of my blog post don’t make sense.
This past week I’ve been sick. Like… I’m going to cough out my lungs sick. And I’ve been trying to pretend like it’s no big thing. But it is a very big thing. Because I need my lungs.
Here’s A List Of Things I Learned From Being Sick. Enjoy.
- NyQuil makes you have some weird ass dreams. Seriously, the other day I had a dream that I went to culinary school, graduated, and I still didn’t know how to cook. What is up with that?
- Your awesome weekend that you’ve looked forward to for weeks will be ruined.
- Sleeping will only get you so far.
- Mixing Robitussin and NyQuil will only get you so far.
- Tylenol will only get you so far.
- Halls cough drops does nothing for you.
- It sucks when NyQuil won’t make you go to sleep.
- Watching too many episodes of Sabrina, The Teenage Witch will eventually make you think that you, too, have magical powers.
- Soup is only a temporary fix.
- You start to feel better so you go and get a haircut and then hours later you’re sick again. Seriously, wtf?
- You don’t have a job to go to, so you don’t have to call in sick anywhere.
- You ask a worker at a CVS store if they have any birthday cards with half-naked men on them. They don’t. CVS is not THAT type of store.
- You’re so bored and you know you have things to do but you can’t get up and do them because you’re too busy coughing your lungs out.
- You start to hate Chicago and its winters and start to dream about someplace warm. Who needs sub-zero temperatures anyway? Not me.
- You think, maybe, just maybe, you should look into travelers health insurance because you might need it.
- You slept so much that you can’t sleep anymore. Not even with the help of NyQuil.
- You start to think that the Sleep station on Pandora Radio will actually help you sleep.
- You start to think if karma is out to get you and start listing everything bad or mean you’ve ever done or said.
- You start to think about what you’re doing with your life because honestly you have no idea. I mean, you don’t even have a job to call in sick to.
- You start to think about joining one of those online dating sites because you don’t have that special someone to take care of you when you’re coughing your lungs out.
- You don’t want to eat anything ever.
- You write a blog post mostly in 2nd person, and when reading it back it sounds stupid but you’re too weak to go back and change it. So you just hit publish.
What types of dreams do you have when you’re sick? Does being sick make you want to join the online dating world? Or cough your lungs out? Or ruin your awesome weekend?