My Top Secret Diet & Exercise Routine (That You Probably Shouldn’t Follow)

Spinning

There are a lot of bloggers, authors, fitness and nutrition experts out there who, quite frankly, have a lot of good information on their sites. They tell you what to eat, what not to eat, what exercises to do, how many reps to do, what burns the most fat, and how to stay on track, especially when you get off track.

With all this information out there, it’s amazing we’re all not running triathlons, doing obstacle course challenges, strengthening our core and clenching our butt cheeks every chance we get. Yes, there is a ton of valuable information out there. Some of it is more useful than other information. Some of it is more effective. Some of it is just a gimmick to get your money.

Even so, there’s a ton of free and affordable information out there. There are even ways to workout for free or for a reasonable price. With all of this information out there and access to exercise, there is one thing that gets in our way.

It’s hard.

Yes, it’s hard to actually put on workout pants and go to the gym.

It’s hard to do any type of movement when you’re mentally tried, which makes you physically tired.

It’s hard to say no to that cupcake that’s right in front of you.

It’s hard not to eat another cupcake, because, come on, you’ve already had three. The damage is done, so what’s the harm?

It’s hard. So-freaking-hard.

There are a lot of bloggers, authors, fitness and nutrition experts out there who have a lot of good information on their sites. I’m not one of them.

I’m more of a go-to-a-spin-class-then-reward-myself-with-a-whole-cake type of blogger. Or something with cheese in it. A LOT OF CHEESE.

Love Me Some Cheese

Love Me Some Cheese

Don’t get me wrong.  I like to exercise. It can be fun though challenging. Even so, I can’t seem to find myself sticking to a regular schedule.

I’ll go through exercise phases where I’ll do really good one week then the next week I won’t move a finger. For example, a couple of weeks ago I did four spin classes in three days. That’s pretty good if you ask me. Now ask me how many spin classes I’ve gone to since then. None.

What I’m trying to say is that I don’t exercise in moderation. However,  I like challenges.

Last year, I challenged myself to do 45 hot yoga classes in 30 days. In the end I did 46. In this challenge, I always carried around my yoga mat and workout clothes, and often did two classes in a row even when I didn’t want to.

This year, my yoga studio did a summer challenge where you had to do 30 classes in 40 days. They gave the participants a punch card so they could record their 30 classes. One class equaled one punch. The challenge included yoga and spinning classes. I often did two classes in a row. This way I didn’t have to go everyday but still contributed toward the 30 classes. Midway through I got a cool water bottle.

water bottle

And at the end participants were entered in a raffle. And I surprisingly won this really cool yoga mat! I never win stuff, you guys!

yoga mat

I like exercise challenges, especially those that make me disgusting and drenched in sweat. But I don’t exercise in moderation. You see, a normal person would do five classes a week, meaning they’d probably have to go five days in a row. I, however, am not a normal person. I’ll do two classes in a row so the next two days I could sit on the couch and make out with a cupcake. That’s how I exercise. Make sense?

Even though I can be OK with the exercise thing, I’m not very good at the eating healthy thing.

And, yes, in case you were wondering, I AM a vegetarian.

And, no, in case you were wondering, I DON’T know how to cook.

And, yes, in case you were wondering, I don’t know how to make HEALTHY decisions, especially when grocery shopping. Because, you guys, no matter how many times I tell myself that I’ll eat everything in moderation, (and I totally believe myself when I say it), it never happens.

I don’t eat in moderation.

grocery cart

Because the truth is, the word moderation and I don’t seem to get along. When it comes to food, you guys, it’s like I have no self-control. I can eat this whole thing in under 20 minutes.

Ann Sather

Also, having packs of things is very dangerous. A fitness instructor told me once to have one string cheese after lifting weights. I took this advice into consideration. However, one string cheese can quickly turn into 12—especially if you buy it in a pack.

There’s one thing I forget to tell myself at the grocery store.

Chocolate-chocolate muffins, string cheese, and anything else I put in the shopping cart are delicious.

De-freaking-licious.

Oh how I dream to one day live in a house made out of cheese with a chocolate fountain in each room. That, my friend, is the real American dream.

Um, yeah, so I totally don’t know where I’m going with this blog post, but I guess the point I’m trying to make is I don’t eat or exercise in moderation. And you probably shouldn’t follow in my footsteps because although there are a lot of bloggers, authors, fitness and nutrition experts out there who have a lot of good information on their sites, I’m not one of them.

How to you eat and exercise and grocery shop?

 

 

 

 

 

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