I had a strange dream last night. Though to be fair I have a lot of strange dreams. But I think this one actually means something. And it was enough strange for me to sit here on New Years day and write about it. Plus there’s A LOT of snow out there, and it’s either sit in my PJs and write or go to a hot yoga class. I think we all know how this is going to end.
Anyway, on to my dream. I recently made plans to visit one of my favorite bloggers, Sally from Unbrave Girl, in Kalamazoo, Michigan and I believe this was the premise of my dream. Though it had nothing to do with my visiting her. In fact, she wasn’t even in my dream. But other random made-up people were.
In this dream, my family moved to Kalamazoo, which is weird because my immediate family only consists of me and my dad. But in my dream it was me, my dad and my sister (and her creepy boyfriend, whom I’ll get to in a moment). And coming from an only child, it’s strange to say I have a sister—a biological one anyway. And one who is blonde and white. Unless we adopted her, then that would make a lot of sense. Perhaps she is subconsciously representing a character from Glee, since I was up last night watching Season 4 before falling asleep.
My dad was in my dream but vaguely played an active role. The only people who were active were my apparently adoptive sister possibly from Glee and (her creepy boyfriend, whom I’ll get to in a moment).
Let me tell you something, being an only child, I’ve always kind of wanted a sibling. A sister, perhaps, that I can “girl talk” with and someone whose clothes I can borrow steal. Or maybe a bother that can look out for me and protect me. A sibling I can fight with and have to share things with like a room and parents. Though I always imagined if I did have a sibling, he or she would outshine me in pretty much everything. My sister would be living in Washington, D.C. right now practicing Law and sending out “Save-the Date” wedding cards with the Indian Lawyer she met in Law school. My brother would be valedictorian in his graduating class in his high school, and went on to medical school and is going to find a cure for [insert a disease here] and is making us all proud. Yup, my imaginary siblings are making me look really bad right about now. Most recently I’ve been thinking about how helpful it would be to have a sibling when I finally decide to take off and travel, leaving me a little less guilty for leaving my Dad. That’s what siblings are for, right?
But this adoptive sister possibly from Glee was nothing like the sibling I imagined. Though she did have a a boyfriend (even if he was creepy), so technically she was outshining me. Seriously, what a beoch. She was rude. And mean. And kept coming into my room. (OK, so I guess MOST siblings are like that.)
In my dream, her boyfriend came over with his baby and went into her room. And I called him and his baby ugly and threatened to call the Kalamazoo police if he didn’t leave. He said I was bluffing and so I dialed the number to the Kalamazoo police department, and in the middle of explaining that my sister’s boyfriend would not come out of her room, he finally did. When he finally came out he placed his hands, which looked like they were covered in blood (or it could be paint?), on my bedroom wall and left his hand-prints on the wall and hopped away like a monkey. I then called the Kalamazoo private investigative team and asked if they could come over and investigate the bloody hand-prints. They said they would, but I don’t remember finishing the call. (I should probably mention that I used to draw on the walls with crayons as a kid. So maybe subconsciously my dreams are telling me I need to create art. Because that’s what ALL bloody hand-prints mean, right?)
The next thing I knew, I was looking out the window and seeing what I’ve been seeing my entire life. It was exactly the same view from my window in Chicago. There’s a school nearby and the trees are always in the same spot changing colors and shedding leaves as the Chicago seasons change. I see endless rows of high-rise buildings, and a clear image of the Willis Tower, formerly known as the Sears Tower, from a far distance. If I tilt my head a bit, I can see a glimpse of the lake. Pedestrians walk by going on with their lives and day-to-day activities. And all I can think about as I look out to the Chicago view is that I’ve seen this my entire life. I think, “this is all there is to life”. And I start to feel sad. I start to feel as if travel is something that is once again impossible. I fear that this view, although a great view, will be the only view I’ll ever see. I fear I’ll be looking out the same window, the same window I’ve been looking out of for 26 years, for the rest of my life.
Then I wake up.
I ignore all the other things in my dream—the adoptive sister and creepy boyfriend, the relocation to Michigan, and the phone conversation I had with the police. The only thing that sticks out and strikes me with fear is looking out the same window for the rest of my life.
My subconscious dream is telling me to travel. It’s telling me to find a new window to look out of, even if it’s only temporary. Or it’s telling me that I need to lay off the champagne.
And on that note, Happy New Year everyone! May all your dreams come true! Let’s just hope my imaginary sister and her creepy boyfriend are not a part of it. Because they gots to go.