A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was suddenly laid off from my contract job. It was kind of shocking and upsetting. Then I had two glasses of wine and everything was fine.
I was also kind of relieved. Although the way I was treated was so not cool, I didn’t have to wake up Monday morning and go to a job that I didn’t even want in the first place. Um, hashtag winning.
Since I was spending my time and energy at work, I didn’t have that much energy to work on my writing, travel plan or work towards any of my life goals. Actually, the week right after I was laid off, I had so much energy that I didn’t know what to do with it. Everyday I went to café and wrote. I also went to the gym. And I felt really good – like I was finally taking the necessary steps towards a life that I want.
And then it all came crashing down.
After I came back from spending a few days in NYC, I fell into somewhat of a depression to the point where I can’t seem to get out of bed. Not to work out. Not to write. Not even to shower.
The other day I slept until 3 p.m. I don’t miss the job so much as I miss the structure that I was used to: wake up, go to work, go to gym, sleep and do it again until the weekend comes and then hate Mondays like the rest of America. That, my friend, is the American dream.
I’ve been trying to snap out of it and I’ll set my alarm and promise myself that I’ll make it to the gym by 9:30 a.m. to work out with my favorite fitness instructor and then I’ll hit up a café and get some stuff done. And when my alarm goes off, guess what I’ll do? I’ll hit snooze, go back to sleep and wake up at 1 p.m.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s really hard to get out of bed when no one is paying you. It’s always this strange battle I have with balance. When I don’t have enough time, I get overwhelmed. When I have too much time, I get overwhelm. So maybe I’m not #winning like I thought I was. Maybe, for now, I just need to get out of bed, put on some pants and get out the door.
Happy New Year! Have you ever felt like you couldn’t get out of bed even after you’ve already had 17 hours of sleep?! Tell me about it.
Hope that you feel better soon. Yes, structure absolutely helps. Trust that 2016 will be a good year for you!
Thanks, Susan.
Ugh, I just moved to Boston for my husband’s job, and while I’m excited about a new city and it’s a great role for him, not having my own job yet is making it really hard to get up on time. SO tempting to tell myself I’ll sleep in just a little bit, just this once, every single morning.
Meg recently posted…Learning Chinese In Carrboro
yeah, I know the feeling. Surprisingly, for me at least, I feel more tried when I’ve slept too much.
I’ve been into your situation before. We experience those kind of days but guess what, it will pass!
You can get through it!
Mich recently posted…7 Important Things To Consider Before Renting An Apartment
Thanks, Mich. I guess it comes and goes.