I was also kind of relieved. Although the way I was treated was so not cool, I didn’t have to wake up Monday morning and go to a job that I didn’t even want in the first place. Um, hashtag winning.
Since I was spending my time and energy at work, I didn’t have that much energy to work on my writing, travel plan or work towards any of my life goals. Actually, the week right after I was laid off, I had so much energy that I didn’t know what to do with it. Everyday I went to café and wrote. I also went to the gym. And I felt really good – like I was finally taking the necessary steps towards a life that I want.
And then it all came crashing down.
After I came back from spending a few days in NYC, I fell into somewhat of a depression to the point where I can’t seem to get out of bed. Not to work out. Not to write. Not even to shower.
The other day I slept until 3 p.m. I don’t miss the job so much as I miss the structure that I was used to: wake up, go to work, go to gym, sleep and do it again until the weekend comes and then hate Mondays like the rest of America. That, my friend, is the American dream.
I’ve been trying to snap out of it and I’ll set my alarm and promise myself that I’ll make it to the gym by 9:30 a.m. to work out with my favorite fitness instructor and then I’ll hit up a café and get some stuff done. And when my alarm goes off, guess what I’ll do? I’ll hit snooze, go back to sleep and wake up at 1 p.m.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s really hard to get out of bed when no one is paying you. It’s always this strange battle I have with balance. When I don’t have enough time, I get overwhelmed. When I have too much time, I get overwhelm. So maybe I’m not #winning like I thought I was. Maybe, for now, I just need to get out of bed, put on some pants and get out the door.