“I don’t know,” she made a face. “I might want to have a lay. Can’t be bothered so early.”
BUT IT WAS YOUR IDEA! I wanted to yell. This was the second time she changed her mind on me that day. First we had plans for dinner and while I was in the shower, she decided to cook dinner instead but came out for dessert with me while I had dinner. Then earlier that day she suggested we go to a pilates class the next day but now she wants to sleep in.
Did I really ask her to travel the South Island in New Zealand with me the other day? I mean, the whole freaking Island?
I’m at least 9 years older than her and although she’s a lot mature than most 19-year-olds, we sometimes lack in conversation. She’d gotten a job as a waitress but didn’t fully want to commit to their terms. She was debating whether to quit and travel the South Island or just work and go back home before starting school. And, of course, I stupidly offered her to travel with me if she decided to quit her job. What was I thinking? Probably that it would be nice to have some company and figure out this crazy route I’m going to attempt by bus. I’d consider driving if I wasn’t alone, but I haven’t drove in years and just the thought of renting a car and hopping in and attempting to drive on the other side of the road alone is probably not a good idea right now.
As I sat across from her during dinner, it was the first time I truly understood our age gap and the fact that I’d have to compromise and settle if we traveled together. Luckily, she decided to keep the job and not travel with me. Though I could see that she still wasn’t confident in her decision.
When I left the states a few weeks ago, I had an idea of what I would be doing. Step one was to get on the airplane. Step two was set up a bank account and apply for my tax number. Step three was to arrive in Wellington and immediately look at flats. Step four was to look for a job.
On my second day in Wellington, I was ready to commit to a house in Mount Victoria. The location was beautiful. It was a little expensive but the owner told me I just had to give her a two weeks notice before I moved out.
“Take a few days to think about it but the room is yours if you want it,” the owner of the Mount Victoria house told me. “I’ll hold the room for you until Monday.”
It sounded like a sure thing. I went to look at another flat the next day but decided it would be best to move into the Mount Victoria house. I sent her a text the next day letting her know that I wanted the room. She’d already given my room away to someone else. Stupid lady and her stupid house! I was frustrated and angry. Why would you tell me you’d hold my room until Monday and then give it away?
I started panicking and arranged to see more places that week. One place was really dirty and I’d have a bunch of roommates. Another place I saw was really clean and I’d have a bunch of roommates. Both places I’d have my own room but would have to sign a 12-month contract and when I decided to leave, I’d have to find someone to replace me. It turns out that the housing in New Zealand is a lot of different than Australia. Many places want you to sign a 12-month contract. I didn’t even have a job yet. Or my tax number. And here I was about to sign a 12-month contract.
Something just felt off – like I was doing something that I didn’t want to do. I didn’t feel excited about looking for work, especially since the type of work I was planning on looking for would be in an office – most likely in the administration field. And that just didn’t seem to excite me.
Once I start work, it’s going to be hard to take time off and explore the country. And I don’t even know how long I want to stay here. Why am I signing a 12 month contract? It didn’t make any sense. So I changed my mind. I changed my plans.
I heard the South Island is amazing. And I want to see it. I want see it now. I don’t have a lot of money but I have some. And I think I can travel the South Island for a few weeks (by bus!). I’m going to leave my massive suitcase in a hostel in Wellington and take a few pairs of clothes in my carry-on backpack and just rough it (apparently I’ve lost my mind). And when I get back to Wellington, perhaps I’ll find a flat or a job. OR I’ll just do something completely different.
I’ve already experienced living and working in another country, so I’m in no hurry to experience it again.What I haven’t done is travel light or around half a country by bus – that just sounds more interesting than a boring old job and responsibilities.
All I know is that I’ve been pretty down these past few months. Perhaps what my heart needs is a little adventure – something to make me feel alive. Heck, I might even skydive! That’s a BIG maybe.